There are several traits that a man should never cultivate. Not because these traits are necessarily wrong, but because they bring him difficulty. Interacting with people involves tact, a skillful maneuvering through a minefield of potential problems. In the next few posts, I’ll talk about what these traits are. But today I will start with one: self-deprecation.
Firstly, self-deprecation is bad because it weakens a man’s standing with women. In short, women seek a man with confidence. A man who has a sense of purpose, a goal, and the courage to rise up against a tidal wave of daily challenges. Self-deprecation works against the man’s image as a bold leader. If he was a great fearless leader, why would he be mocking himself? This strikes a woman directly in the amygdala, resulting in a dying romantic ember. A woman wants her partner to have a grand purpose, so a man’s continual self-deprecation will mitigate against this goal.
Secondly, when a strong man comes up against a weaker man, self-deprecation will work against him. The weaker man is keenly aware of his own weakness. Therefore, the weak man never engages in self-deprecation since it highlights a painful reality: his ignorance, foolishness, lack of control, etc. Therefore, if you use self-deprecation around a weak man, the weak man will seize upon it and perhaps use it against you. He will add to it, thinking that you are a fool to be played like an accordion. He might even try to take advantage of you. In short, a smart man must always enforce his superiority over the weaker man, since the weaker man has no sense of justice.
So be wary of self-deprecation. As a man, it should be used sparingly and in the proper company. Only people who are capable of understanding its nuances should receive the virtue of its humor.